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Tag: #iamawriter

Happy New Year!

Rose champagne and roses

Happy New Year my friends!  I hope you’ve had a fantastic day.  I didn’t do much to celebrate the start of my 48th year but I have felt better today than I have in several days so I will take it!  Also, I am so VERY VERY thankful for my amazing friends who acknowledged my birthday.  One of them even brought me these gorgeous roses.  How can I not feel blessed?

Today was Opening Day for English Premier League and I’ve been excited about that for quite a while.  I have a coworker who is trying to convert me into a fan of his team and after watching their match today, I think he will succeed.  Such an exciting match!  I wish everyone could appreciate that first match energy, for any sport.  Today was ELECTRIC!  And NFL preseason football has started now too.  There are so many people who aren’t sports fans and I apologize in advance for what I will be posting for the next 9 months or so 🙂

I am truly grateful to be starting another year with so many amazing people in my corner!  Earlier this week I was feeling very alone, very isolated and adrift.  Today I am so very thankful for all of you who took the time to wish me a Happy Birthday.  For you it took a few seconds, for me it meant the world.  Just know that your kind words saved me.

Someone reminded me of what I wrote a year ago.  I had just started my weight loss journey and had lost 17 pounds.  Today I am ALMOST 90 pounds down, and my body feels healthier than ever.  I have so much less aches and pains, all because I decided to do this for myself.  If you think one year can’t make a difference, please believe that it can.  I am here to wish you a very HAPPY NEW YEAR  – start TODAY and you will be so amazed where you are at this time next year.  I love you all and you can never know how much you mean to me.

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Chapter 14 – New Year’s Eve (yes, you read that right) :)

Defeat is not an option!

Hey everyone and thanks for being here!  I have to be honest right now, my HUSTLE has been completely lacking lately.  It’s the night before my birthday (New Year’s Eve) so I’m taking this time to get my act together and start my new year with a bang.  I call my birthday my New Year’s Day.  Emotionally it’s been a really tough week but I’m bouncing back.  I’ve been existing but not much else (except of course my workouts).  I haven’t put much effort into my business or my blog.  I let my depression get the best of me and just shut down from anything I didn’t HAVE to do.

Not Afraid to Fail

Today I’m feeling better and so optimistic about starting my 48th year.  I also remembered the saying that goes something like “right now someone is working harder than you” and that really resonated with me.  I must not let myself be outworked, because I have the desire and I owe it to ME to work harder every day.  I’m not talking about any type of competition – I’m talking about HUSTLE, wanting success more than anything, much like I put everything into my physical transformation.  It’s way past time I put that amount of focus and energy into my writing, my passion!

An essential aspect of creativity is not being afraid to fail.  Dr. Edwin Land

Relentless Pursuit of Passion

So tonight I’m taking time to get back up, dust myself off and get MOVING!  Hustle harder, write the words, do the things….  There is never a bad time to push the reset button, it’s only bad if you need to but don’t ever do it.   I’m learning not to be afraid to fail, but instead to be afraid of not trying.  Life isn’t perfect and I have a lot of stress at the moment, but I’ve been using that as an excuse to be lazy.  WHAT?  That’s backwards, right?  I need to use that to push me, to pursue my passion and success with every fiber of my being.  Being under stress is the time to be RELENTLESS!

Celebrate with Me!

Is there something in your life you really want, but you know deep down you haven’t been giving it all you’ve got?  Well – celebrate my New Year’s Day with me and KICKSTART YOUR OWN HUSTLE.  We can be unstoppable!

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Chapter 10 – Am I Lost, or Just Scared?

As I wrote in the last chapter, I’ve been feeling a little adrift, lost, lately.  Not necessarily in terms of my fitness journey, because I am still working, still sweating, trying to grow these baby muscles.  In the next chapter I will talk about what’s next on that front.  No, I’m talking about LIFE (again).  I thought maybe it was my depression rearing its ugly head but I refuse to give in to that.  I had a conversation yesterday that was a tough but necessary one to have.  My friend asked me what it would take to make “this version of Pam” happy.  What is my purpose, what is it that I’m looking to do to feel like I’m contributing and making a difference?  What happened to cause me to lose my focus and my direction?

I kept saying I DON’T KNOW, because I just didn’t know what to say, feeling put on the spot and completely tongue-tied, how to put it all into words (kind of ironic for a writer, right?).  But was this true?  “Do I REALLY not know, or am I afraid to admit what I want because I’m afraid I can’t have it?”

I stumbled upon this book in the library and just started reading it CAREERGASM – Find Your Way to Feel Good Work. WOW, it’s all about ME!!!  Right here in the first chapter, the author Sarah Vermunt asks that exact same question. Am I really as lost as I think I am, or am I just afraid?  “OMG, deep down I DO know what I want, but I don’t know how to get it.  I’m terrified!”  Holy cow, YES this…. I’m not lost, I’m scared of failing.  So I’ve been talking myself out of even trying lately.  I’m not talking about my job, I’m talking about my passion and how for some reason I got scared that I wasn’t good at it because I don’t have readers yet.  Thus “maybe this writing thing isn’t for me after all” is the only thing I kept saying to myself over and over.

The person I was talking to said “that doesn’t matter – you’re doing this for YOU.  It’s your passion, it’s something you HAVE to do, no matter what, no matter who reads or not.”  Back to Kevin Hart – he wrote a lot in his book about how many stand-up shows he did for very few people, how hard he worked to peddle his craft no matter who was or wasn’t listening or watching.  He KNEW what he wanted to do with his life, and nothing was going to stop him – hecklers, agents and other comics who said he didn’t have what it takes – he wasn’t hearing it.

So back to the tough questions.  What is my purpose, what is my passion, and how do I get back on track?  I don’t know HOW I lost my way, but stress really got to me and kept me from focusing on what matters most.  My passion is writing, and I want to share my story with anyone that might benefit from it. I will keep writing, no matter who reads because one day it might make a difference to someone.  Maybe that someone is me.  My point is – whatever you WANT to do, whatever you can’t stop thinking about, DO THAT.  Life is too short to live by someone else’s rules, worrying about what other people think.  DO YOU!  Sharing my message and honing my craft is what will make me happy, and I can’t stop working on that.

I feel so much better today than I have in a while, and I owe that to having friends who are willing to have the TOUGH conversations.  Through all the tears, the silence, the “I don’t knows” – I am so blessed to have people like that in my circle, people who push me, challenge me, don’t let me take the easy way out.  Find your tribe and you can be unstoppable!  They believe in you, so why shouldn’t YOU?

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