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Chapter 11 – It Really Is True – Your Happiness Is Up To You

Hey there!  Welcome back to Truthful Tuesday.  I’m so glad you’re here.  I haven’t written because I didn’t think I had anything worth sharing, but then I realized I’m sharing LIFE with you, so here goes.  This past week was a REALLY rough one emotionally, and I really got off track with my goals, both writing and fitness related.  I got my workouts in but did not eat according to my meal plan AT ALL.  I was just a complete wreck and I let that get in the way of everything.  This morning I woke up knowing that it was time to GET OVER IT.  Time to be POSITIVE and let go of what I cannot control, and take charge of what I can!  I let this last week get away from me, but no more.  I could be upset with myself, or I can give myself a tiny little break and be thankful that I regrouped when I did.  Today, I choose self love and happiness!

Full Disclosure Coming Up!


Surgery or Not?

I’m struggling with a decision about whether to, and when to have shoulder surgery.  I did not injure it, I just have some chronic issues in there from the surgery I had 11 years ago (scar tissue, some bursitis and bicep tendon inflammation).  I really dread the thought of another rehab and recovery, so I’m trying to decide if the pain is bad enough to warrant it yet – and it not now, when?  I am not able to give my upper body training 110% like I want to, and I know the shoulder is holding me back, but I am struggling coming to a decision.  I keep hoping it might improve and I won’t have to decide!  That has gotten me down over the last couple of weeks, then combined with last week, I’ve just not been able to get myself together.

Starting My Own Business

I also took a leap of faith and started my own business (direct sales) – and it’s hitting me that I don’t know how well I can really do at this!!! I’ve been needing a little extra income for a while and they had an offer that was too good to pass up, so I didn’t 🙂  But now it’s starting to sink in that wow, I don’t really know a lot of people and I don’t want to “turn off” anyone I do know by sharing too much.  However, I know I need to pay my bills so…. catch 22.  I’m really excited to get products in hand so I can use them myself and be able to speak firsthand about them.  What’s that saying “everything worth having happens outside of your comfort zone”?

Uncertainty and Stress

So today it feels like everything is kind of uncertain in my little corner of the world and I sure hope I can manage to get things back on track, because I do NOT do stress well at all.   I hope it will pass soon but I cannot control that no matter how much I wish I could.  I have to take a deep breath and send some positive vibes out that everything will work out SOONER rather than later.

Suck It Up Buttercup!

I want my corner to be happy again!!!  And there’s only one person who can make that happen  – ME!!!

Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.

Today, finally, I am choosing happiness.  The stress is still there but a positive mindset can conquer just about anything!  With the right attitude ANYTHING is possible, and I am sorry that it took me a week to really get this into my head.

Stay PAWSITIVE my friends!


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Happy Friday! And a Tease of Things to Come…

Hi everyone! I know I haven’t been here in a while, but I’ve been doing some serious homework offline and out of sight.  Hopefully this will benefit all of us :).  I am planning a series of posts to tell the story of my transformation because so many of you have asked and been so supportive along the way.  I know, SO many thousands of transformation stories out there, they’ve been told over and over, but I want to share mine with you with the hope that maybe it can encourage someone to take action.

I’m trying to figure out where I fit into the online space – so many social media hashtags for each day of the week, so what’s the best way to get my message out there?  It isn’t just about me, it’s about what I’ve been through to change my life for the better and if I can help even one person that’s incredible.  So hang with me while I weed through the social media quagmire.  I am going to need your help with this.

Call to action:  if I write something that you like and that resonates with you, I hope that you will share it with others.  I read all this stuff about needing huge email lists and growing your blog following, and I cannot do that without YOU!  But I have to provide something you want to share so that’s on me.  Let’s do this together!  I want feedback, questions, suggestions on what you want to read about – come at me.  Let me hear what’s on your mind.

My story isn’t just about how much weight I’ve lost.  It’s about overcoming toxic relationships with people you normally wouldn’t write out of your life because society says you shouldn’t, and learning how to accept that what YOU want means more than whatever anyone else wants for you or thinks you should be.  It isn’t the number of pounds, because I’m still a work in progress.

It’s about how you will see in my “before” pictures that my smile never really reached my eyes – it was on the surface only.  Today, my smile comes from within.  I’m not where I want to be quite yet, but mentally and physically I am so much happier and healthier and I want to share with you how I have gotten here.  Both the “oh my gosh how did you gain so much weight” and the “oh my gosh how did you LOSE so much weight” parts of the story, because they go together for me.  I owe it to you all to go all in and share the good, the bad, and the ugly.

I will be working this weekend to create “chapters” in the Rise of the Phoenix so to speak, and I promise to post one each Monday combined with some other fun things in between 🙂

So while I plan and write this weekend, PLEASE share with me whatever you want to hear/read.  What questions do you have, what do you want to know?  We are all in this thing called LIFE together!  Stay PAWSITIVE my friends, and please give me some feedback so I know what you might want to read.  Love you all and happy weekend.


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Monday Motivation

I know, #MotivationMonday is probably a bit overused but I want to try to make it worth something to you all.  Each Monday I will share a quote that really means a lot to me, and a little motivation to go along with it.  Feel free to please leave feedback!  This is part of my getting organized and trying to offer useful, regular material since you are giving me a few minutes of your time to read.

If I can convince you of ANYTHING, it’s that you simply must believe in yourself.  You have everything within you to make your goals a reality, but you just have to be willing to take action.  Don’t let fear of failure stop you!  I am proof that you can do anything you set your mind to no matter how many obstacles life throws onto your path.

Think about it.  We are our own worst critics, so why can’t we turn that around and be our own best cheerleaders???  Enough negative self talk, because it really does manifest itself.  Believe me, I’m the queen of that.  But turn that around – if you don’t like something about yourself make a plan to change it. Figure out something that makes your soul smile and GO AFTER IT with all you’ve got.

Stay PAWsitive!  It matters.

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Sundays and Writing

Hello lovelies.  It’s been FOREVER since I’ve been on this blog and I have missed it.  I have so much to tell you and I will be sharing several times a week so please come along with me.  Wanted to just say hello and give you a quick update.

Finally I have an actual schedule for posting and themes for each day of the week, so I feel so much more organized and focused.  It will be a challenge to write every day about the designated theme but hopefully it will be fun for all of us.

You can, you should, and if you’re brave enough to start, you will.  ~Stephen King

I love writing with bright colors especially when my mood is grey.

Life is not just black and white, so choose to live in COLOR!  Enjoy the colors around you even when, especially when, your mood is heavy or sad.  We will do this together a few times a week.  Until then, relax on this wonderful Sunday evening and take a few minutes to get ready for Monday.  Stay PAWsitive!

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Revenge Body?

So there’s a show on E TV with Khloe Kardashian called “Revenge Body.”  I just heard about it today.  I want to get some input here.  I know a lot of people want to make dramatic changes to prove something to an ex, like “look what you’re missing” type of motivation.

I am playing devil’s advocate here.  I set some personal weight loss/transformation goals that were/are JUST FOR ME.  No revenge no external motivation at all.  I wanted to transform for myself so that I can be happy with ME and feel comfortable in my own skin.

I’m interested to see what you guys think – is one type of motivation better than another?  Is it more productive to get in shape and make yourself better/healthier as revenge for someone dumping you, or is it more positive and likely to have lasting results if you do it for YOURSELF?

I advocate for doing things for yourself.  The opinions of others are nowhere near as important as how you feel about YOU.  I’ve been living this for many, many months now, but I didn’t really have a ‘revenge’ reason per se.  I continue to work because I’m doing this for me, not for anyone else.  However, does revenge motivation work long term?  Ready…..GO!

No right or wrong answer here- just want some feedback.  I’m sure I was dumped eons ago because I got fat, but it took me decades to do something about it – but that’s not a bad thing in my eyes.  I am working so incredibly hard to transform myself inside and out SIMPLY FOR ME.  Let me know what you think – let’s talk this out my lovelies 🙂

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October – my favorite month!

Autumn is here!  Well – in theory, because it’s still a bit too warm for my taste.  But something about turning the calendar to October makes my heart happy.  Football, hoodies, gorgeous leaves changing colors… I feel energized and excited to see what my favorite month has in store for me.

Saw this quote on Instagram today, and really wanted to post it here so I can talk about it.

The fall teaches us a lesson every year.  Trees go bare and banish dead parts that no longer belong.  The leaves, that change colors, an then fall to the earth represent the things that we truly need to let go of.   – Sylvester McNutt

Isn’t this a great way to think of Fall?  All of the things that are weighing you down, let them be those leaves that are going to fall to the ground.  Let them go, and feel the freedom, enjoy this beautiful season!

I have some very aggressive personal goals for this month, but rather than feeling overwhelmed, I feel motivated and determined.  This is the perfect month for me to tackle these goals, and I want to take you all along with me.  A very, very dear friend of mine gave me a little tough love this week, reminding me that I cannot call myself a writer if I don’t WRITE.

I have been focusing on my fitness and health but have neglected my creative self.  She was so right.  Just talking about writing doesn’t build a following, doesn’t inspire anyone, and really just frustrates me.  What’s that old saying “don’t talk about it, be about it?” Yeah – that.

So many thoughts in my head, and several people have encouraged me to just put them out there because they might inspire or interest at least one person.  That is a great way to think about it, and that helps me keep things in perspective.  I don’t have to write the GREATEST content I just have to be present and share myself with you all.  🙂

Set yourself some goals, right now… go ahead.  Whatever negativity is holding you back, let that go like those leaves that will be falling to the ground.  Only YOU can make your dreams come true, so come along with me.  What do you have to lose?  Let’s make Autumn our best season yet.

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Never. Forget. 9/11/01

Today has been a strange day, because it’s the first Sunday for NFL football, which is usually my favorite day of the year.  However, it is also the anniversary of the saddest day in our nation’s history.  This is NOT a political post at all (though most of you who really know me know where I am on the political spectrum).  I really just want to make a couple of points and call it a night.  Today I will not talk about the NFL games that I’ve been counting down to since the Super Bowl ended last year.

Today I will talk about the day…. That day that NONE of us will ever, ever forget.  Where we were.  Who we talked to first…. The emotions… The tears… It all seemed so surreal and unbelievable.  How could this happen to the GREATEST country on earth?

Then the magic happened.  After tragedy came the magic.  Our wonderful, beautiful, hopeful country came together…  TOGETHER… To heal.  To recover.  To clean up the unthinkable sites where terrorism had hit our tough as nails country.  We. Came. Together……

The days, weeks, months after that awful, awful day that still brings tears to my eyes really showed WHAT MAKES AMERICA GREAT.  PLEASE let’s forget politics, and political parties on this day.  Let’s think about the PEOPLE of These UNITED STATES of America.  UNITED, NOT DIVIDED.  It didn’t matter what color, religion, sexual orientation you were – we were TOGETHER, to help, however we could, to help our country heal and come back greater than ever.

Think about that….. Color….. Religion…. Sexual orientation.  DID NOT MATTER.  We were all AMERICANS.

Today, we are all consumed with the NFL players and whether they will stand for the National Anthem.  I’m heartbroken that we think this is the most important issue facing our wonderful country.   We are free – we have the right to stand, kneel, sit – whatever we choose on any given day.  How AMAZING is that????

Today, can we PLEASE remember back to 15 years ago, when nothing else mattered but healing our country?  Our country, the greatest on earth, still has massive amounts of healing to do, and we ALL need to play our parts in this.  UNITED we stand, but DIVIDED we fall, and my greatest fear when I put my head on my pillow at night is that we are far too divided.  Let us not allow hatred and bigotry to get in the way of the greater good. Please…..

NEVER. EVER. FORGET.  And let the lesson we learned about ourselves as Americans 15 years ago come back to us today.  Our differences are so much smaller than our similarities.  United we MUST stand.

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You MUST Make Time for YOU

This post is dedicated to all of us who are sooooo busy moving at the speed of light, dealing with work, kids (fur or human), stress, laundry, cooking – you get the picture.  We are so busy just trying to get through this crazy thing called life that we forget to LIVE.  I don’t have a spouse or family, but I do have 7 tiny dogs who require a lot of attention and care (which I couldn’t be happier to provide).  So many of you have huge demands on your time, that you wonder how you can even stop to breathe.

But I want to tell you – I promise this is the truth, because I’ve figured it out the hard way.  STOP being so busy that you’re exhausted, cranky, run down, and still have no time to do the things YOU want to do.  I know it’s hard when you have a family. But guess what?  I PROMISE that if you make time for YOU- to exercise, to meditate, to read, to write – whatever your soul needs – you will be much happier and productive with all those things you have to do.

Someone told me “I don’t have time to go get my nails done.”  OK, well I love having my nails done so I make time for that every couple of weeks.  I don’t HAVE time, I make time.  I hear this a lot too: “must be nice not to have a family so you can go to the gym twice a day.” I realize that the folks who say this to me aren’t being mean, they really just can’t figure out how to fit ME TIME into their routine.  Again, I don’t HAVE time, I make time because my health and wellness became the top priority for me.  I was miserable, depressed, and unhappy.  That wasn’t doing anyone any good at all.  So yes, I sacrifice some things so that I can go to bed early and hit the gym before dawn.  The gym might not be your “thing” and that’s totally fine – my point is find your thing and make time to enjoy!!!! Everyone in your life will be better for it.  Taking time for you is not selfish – it is necessary. 🙂

There are a million excuses, and almost all of them are real and legitimate on some level.  Please understand that I am NOT saying people aren’t busy doing very important things, and I really am fortunate that it’s easier for me to make time than probably most of you.  But my lovelies, who is going to take care of YOU if you don’t?  Make a list of all those “I wish I had time to…..” and then take a good look at your schedule and see when you will fit some of that in to fulfill your own happiness.  It will be so worth it.

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We Need Her Fire!

First let me tell you that if you don’t follow @butterfliesandpebbles on social media, go do it right now.  I will wait.

Ok, now that you’ve done that, here is a quote that really, really struck something deep within me from her Instagram page.

She is useful to this world.  Not because she does what she’s told.  But because she does what she wants.  You are a fool to try to dampen her spirits.  We need fire in this world.  We need her fire.  – S.C. Lourie

Why does this mean so much to me today, right now at this moment?  I’ve been watching the Olympics, where WOMEN are doing amazing, history-making things.  What if someone had dampened their fire? What if they listened when someone said “you’re crazy, girls don’t do that”? We would be missing out on so much excitement if these phenomenal women had listened to the people who said they couldn’t, they shouldn’t, they wouldn’t.

How incredibly fortunate we are that we are witnessing the wonderful, beautiful, powerful female athlete accomplish things that girls from past generations could only dream of.  It brings tears to my eyes to think of all of the barriers being broken by these graceful women who dared greatly, who gave absolutely everything they have to be their very best.

SO, with that being said, how are you stoking YOUR fire?  I know there’s something deep inside you that you’re dying to do- it doesn’t have to be physical or athletic, but maybe it is.  What is your thing?  What is that thing that people have said “oh that won’t work out, everyone already does that so you can’t be successful, that’s just crazy don’t waste your time even trying” until you have almost given up?

THAT THING.  Dust it off.  Pick it back up.  DO NOT doubt yourselves my lovelies.  The world needs your fire, your passion.  Don’t let anyone dampen that spirit.  You don’t have to follow the rules, you don’t have to do as you’re told.  You owe it to YOU to do whatever it is that your soul years to do.  MAKE.  IT.  HAPPEN.  There is absolutely no reason why you can’t if you get out of your own way and do the work.

Come with me won’t you?  The world needs our fire. #thinkpawsitively

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Hello lovelies – remember me?  Oh how I’ve missed you.  My creative/writing mojo just completely left me for far too long and I can’t really explain why or what happened.  But … let me share something awesome with you.  You know how the rest of the world starts their new year on January 1?  Well…. quirky Pam chooses to use her birthday (TODAY) as the beginning of my New Year.  This is my opportunity to hit reset.  To commit to going all in, doubling down on my goals in this year of ME.

I’m excited about my creative process now that my personal mission is falling into place with baby steps.  I have finally lost 17 pounds and I am NOT stopping now.  The process works, and I’m sticking to it.  Never look back and just keep going….. the results I want are there I just have to trust the process and follow it to the letter.  I post daily using the hashtags #fightforfit #neverlookback #onamission and I will keep using these.

I think that making progress towards my fitness goals will free my mind to work on my creative goals.  The whole point in writing this is to say – IT IS NEVER, EVER TOO LATE to start working on something that means the world to you.  JUST DO IT!  Once you commit- once you go ALLLLLL INNNNN (and I do mean all in – no half ass work will do), amazing things will happen.

On this, my own personal New Year’s Day, I want to thank my HardBody Fitness Personal Training family for their NEVER ENDING support and encouragement.  This family is full of successful athletes at the pro and amateur level, and people like me who are just trying to become the best version of themselves.  It’s been completely amazing to witness the support from everyone.  They truly believe in you and support you 110% and also hold you accountable.  We really are a team, even though I don’t compete, they make me feel like I belong.  This has been SO good for me.

What is it you are still wanting to accomplish in 2016?  Most importantly, are you surrounding yourself with people who will help you make that happen???? August can be a time to coast, to slow down and relax – or, as I choose, it can be a time to double down on EVERYTHING and go all in to make things happen.  I am with you, whichever you choose.  I consider myself so fortunate to have my gym family and my creative family supporting me – I never would have found them if I hadn’t admitted I needed help and had been willing to open myself up to other people.  Introverts know how hard this is!

HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone 🙂  Choose something you’ve been absolutely dying to do but never thought you could.  GO ALL IN!!!! You might be surprised with the results.  Think PAWSITIVELY my lovelies and the world is yours.  I love you all, and I am back.

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