Now, this might not sound like such a big deal to you if you knew me “when” – when I didn’t even have to think about it, going to workout was just something I did automatically. When I lived to lift, to be strong, to get stronger, to hear that loud angry music in my ears…
Well…. honestly, I cannot actually remember how long ago that was. I had given up on it because of all my limitations, and just as I was falling in love with boxing, another setback. Man, did I ever let ALL THAT MESS totally destroy my passion.
Yep, I lost it. I was “happier” not going, not trying (or so I tried really hard to convince myself). If I didn’t try, I couldn’t fail. I was succeeding at withdrawing deeper into my introvert shell though – man, I earned a gold medal in introverting.
I just finished the most AMAZING book that I can honestly say is life-changing. “Year of Yes”. You all know I’m on this personal development mission, so I added this to my list of things to read. What I didn’t know was that this book is about ME! Well, ok – I don’t have three daughters, and I am not a super successful celebrity writer and creator of award-winning television shows. But wow, could I ever relate to so much of what Shonda writes. As a child, she played in the pantry with canned goods. As a child, I played in closets – I mean, come on, they were amazing places to create my own little world!
She has a chapter about her decision to lose weight, and that one was like a big ole anvil falling on my head (remember Roadrunner and Coyote?). Basically you have two choices, she writes (I’m paraphrasing).
- Be happy and content with where you are, whatever body you’re in right now. Embrace it, love it, treasure it for all the wonderful things it can do.
- ORRRRR – do something about it if you’re unhappy. Quit with the “I need to, I should, I wish…” and just do it already.
I’ve heard these words before in different forms, but for some reason she got through to me. So, instead of dreading the boring 30 minute workout I had scheduled at the gym, I went in with a positive attitude finally.
And guess what? I smiled, I laughed, I worked hard, I broke a sweat, and I AM GOING BACK. We all have our stuff that gets in the way of things we know we should do, but in my case, it’s been my own head getting in the way. Now, I know I have a very very long road back, and I’m facing ankle surgery, so that will be yet another obstacle to overcome.
I’ve also read that creative people really need exercise – it isn’t optional. They need it to keep their creative brains working. Hmmm – ok then. I’m trying to be creative. Another reason…. I just need to find what I used to love, accept where I am today, and plan out then execute to get where I want to go.
Shonda also told me that if I want to be a writer, guess what? I have to write. Every day. No matter what. And then it will get easier, and I will get better. See, I told you this book taught me a lot! Time to come out of that introvert shell sometimes and enjoy life. Enjoy the things I used to love before all that got lost. Shonda told me to dance it out, and that makes perfect sense to me.